i stole so much shit from wal* mart yesterday.

mainly things to decorate my dreadies.
little craft birds and flowers and some like autumny orange thread
and i got these awesome sandals, i bought those . 2 dollas.
figured id get em now cuz when its sandal weather those assholes are gonna hike the price to like 15

motherfuckas. i hate walmart

and i saw a really attractive bearded employee mmmm

i can really go for a pumpkin spice cappucino from stewart's oooo baby
. marre and dave need to wake up so i can bum a cig off him.
i hate just sitting here in the morning waiting for them to get up.
agh
im boredboredoredboredbored.


and happy birthday davegunn:D

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


i gotta start saving up for mountain jam and travelin' this summer.


i think i'm gonna start making things and sellin my weird creationz. sell some things i don't really need . craigslist. ebay.
bottles and cans. doing whatever i gotta except selling my body

spring can come now, thanks.

it seems everybody has somebody except for me.


i'm lonely.



and lately when im with marre and dave, i feel like a third wheel.
because. i . am




coooooooooooooooooooooool beans.

so a few days ago my friends and i took a road trip upstate to plattsburgh to visit friends, and i had the best dunkin donuts blueberry coffee of my lifemmm and then we were getting tired and our friends at the college were going to sleep and i had a friend up there that we could see and probably crash at his place.
so this dude and i have been exchanging texting messages and chatting on aim for ages and we decided that we had to meet so when i told him i was gonna be in town he was stoked .

we get to his house and it's all good. we go to bed. we have sex really quietly.
next morning comes we bring him to school and then we're on our way back to gloversville.

so once we get home i'm so tired, we were up so late. But instead of immediately hitting the hay, i decided to check myspace. i went on his myspace, and say that he.. was in a relationship.
i got sick to my stomach, i grabbed my phone and i asked him if he had girlfriend and he was like yeah but it just got serious and i was like wtf before or after we had sex and he was like before ... and i was like wtf. and i was like well thanks for telling me and he was like yeah im pretty bad at telling people things like that
and i thought oh you're bad at telling girls you want to have sex with that you already have a girlfriend before you have sex with them. that's reasonable and i understand ?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT.
that really bothered me, like i thought he was such a nice dude and i had faith in men! but not anymore.i feel really dirty but i didn't know.
we still talk and like he'll be hanging out with his girlfriend and he calls me baby and shit and im just like wow, i would be so pissed if i was his woman hanging out with him while secretly he texts somegirl he cheated on me with and calls her petnames he would call me.


i feel so bad for his girlfriend. she has no idea! and i know he's not gonna tell her, why would he?





and another thing to really, really piss me off is...
the other day i caught the end of impaled on discovery health and then this show about pigs was on and i had to watch it, so basically
wild pigs are taking over and attacking people, killing their hunting dogs blahblahblahblah
andthe'd interview a bunch of camo-clad rednecks complaining about how these pigs were tearing up their yards , eating all their crops, and then attacking them when they go into the woods....
alright, it would suck to get attacked by a wild pig but you're the one who was fucking with them inthe woods which is where wild pigs live.

and then it showed this guy who had like a thermal imager thing to find them at night and shoot them, he used to term "harvest" which pissed me off because these are not crops you can harvest, these are fucking animals.
who the fuck are these people to feel that the increase of another population is an "inconvenience" to them and the only way to stop it is to throw pigkilling contests? and do horrific things to them that theydidnt show us on tv.


motherfuckers.

i wanna go on a date

i would like my life to be a never-ending camping trip.

knotty &happyyy :}

newfaces, old faces, being alone, beingwith friends, ilike rugs , i like deep conversations, ilike mushrooms, i like lsd, ilike beingdrunk sometimesi wish i could always be drunkfriendly i like myselfbetterthatway. i like being clear-headed, ilike men, i like the ladies, i like my boobs, i like garage sales, i like connecting with people i like music , i like to read, i like whenits my birthday , i like sex but who doesnt? i like kittens and i like grown kitties, i like being in DA WOODS I LIKE WANDERING . i like other things but i dont feel like typing anymore

so this is the big 2.0 eh?


happy birthday to moiii




i feel ontop of the world because this is my motherfuckin' day!!



spending it with marre and some other new friends in gloversville, i dunno what we're doing tonight, but i do know that i;d like to binge drink until i pass out mos def
lotsa of pictures r cummin'

cheeri--ooo

things are goodgoodgoodgood in mah world for once,

but i have a feeling that will all soon change because everything goes to hell and everything i touch turns to shit.

tomorrows my 20th birthday, i kind of have mixed emotions about it.


i fungus tripped with marre and some others for the first time the other night.
i was really giggglyy

i did k too.

very interesting experience.



toodles!

I've got some new tattoos and i suppose i'll post some pictures when i'm motivated.

eh

i'm bumming and bummin' hard...

mmm mad slimjims in my stocking

i've come to realise i'm a very compassionate creature

and i'm pretty weird too.
notlike the uncomfortable weird but a nice weird.


meh. i had a really weird dream about marre last night, i was hanging out with her and her bf and some other guy and we were all chilling and drinkin and smokin
and then her bf just started making out with this girl like right infront of us and i was like MARRE, MARRE DID YOU SEE THAT? DO YOU SEE THIS? WHAT THE FUCK? AND SHE WAS LIKE NO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AND I WAS LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT LOOK AT THIS ITS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU but she just didnt see it and i did ! and then the other guy stepped out infront of me and he was like you should talk to her and i was like crying and so was she and i took both her hands and i was like what are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? and she just kept saying she didnt know what she was doing and stayed in this house? and then i walked away... where to? i dont know but i just went away?


weird?

oh i just got asked out on a date!
that's unusual, usually i get asked to just fornicate...
he probably wants to, but i'll have him pay for dinner and a movie first
nahh imma hold out


i found the most lovely pair of moccasins i ever did see on ebay today, and they shall be mine!!!



OH MY GOD MY DAD IS BLASTING DEATHCAB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was at marre's boyfriends house on two different occasions, and i told her about this bothering me so this is not talking shit.


1st time i was there, we were robo-tripping and i just couldn't do it and her bf zack and his brother were like OH MY GOD YOU'RE A PUSSY, lololol @ you, you're A pussy.

and im thinking like... no i'm not a pussy this is just fucking stupid, i'm not sixteen anymore andi do not have the urge to fuck with anything to git fucked up and i also don't want kidney failure

and then the other day
they had some cherry brandy and they were taking shots and i figured i'd give it a try since i've never had it before so i took a shot and i just didn't like it...so i asked for some water and zacks brother was like YOU ARE SUCH A PUSSY, YOU DON'T NEED A CHASER! BABY.

and they were all ready to take another and i almost puked because it was so disgusting!
and they were like omg are you ok, and marre was like what's happening to you, you used to drink mad vodka with me...

and that made me think..

what is happening to me?
partying just doesn't appeal to me anymore, getting wasted andmaking a fool out of myself isn't fun anymore and i hate waking up the next morning with ahangover from hell, puking my brains out. ..

and then smoking pot, i'm good on that
i get so paranoid, sad and sleepy.





WHAT IS THIS?~!?~
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!!?!?!


can someone please tell me what's happening to me?

i don't know if this annoys anyone else as much as it annoys me but, i hate when you talk to someone and they can't see things from a different perspective.


and i hate when people just assume everyone has parents who can just hand them a car and pay for their college education.

i fucking wish i was that lucky.

I feel like i'm losing my mind......

new years resolutions~~~~~~~~~~



quit smoking

save my vagina for a special boy


job


and id like to lose some weight